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February 22

February 22, 2019

And now I’m going to hit my head against a wall…

No, no bedtime. Already 5 am dealing with the fact that Paypal won’t process the subscription on the checkout page but it will on any other page. WTF?

I am so sick of computers. This shit is all about WORKING, making life easier, but it never works. It never does what it’s supposed to. All I do is find workarounds to make broken software thousands to fucking millions of people use every fucking day. Tech is finicky like it’s organic, but it’s not organic, it’s fucking tech, so work! Ugh.

I might have to sign up for some sort of exclusive paypal thing, except this shit shouldn’t even require it, and it may not even be the problem but the fact that it’s a virtual product but not a download–this is stupid shit! Stupid, pointless, who the fuck puts something out there broken instead of, you know, fixing your damn shit?!

I’m so tired. =_= bitchy and tired and this shit never ends.

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February 22

February 22, 2019

Seriously? Ugh…

Spent the day transferring people and I’ve only gotten 42 done? This is going to take forever. =_=

I don’t even understand why this is taking so long. I can’t seem to get a damn flow. I’m stopping now because it’s something I don’t want to make mistakes about, and being tired = mistakes. I don’t feel like I’m moving slowly. If anything, it feels like the world is way too slow. Waiting for a webpage to load feels excruciating. I’m set to a certain pace and the computer just can’t keep up.

I dunno, I might have to tap the love of my life in for some back up, otherwise this is going to take so freaking long. I’m so done with this computer shit. I want to get back to writing. I have so many damn ideas and I’m just stuck waiting, being a boring adult instead of getting to the good stuff.

My goal is to get it done before the weekend. Problem solving; it’s my thing. So I’ll just problem solve this into a more streamlined solution.

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February 21

February 21, 2019

Blahhhhhhh…

I hate repetition. I feel like I’m trapped doing homework or some shit while transferring members. Normally I’d turn this into an assembly line sort of thing, but I don’t feel confident enough in trying to mass produce something that if I were to fuck up could result in passwords sent to the wrong people, or cancellation dates being messed up. So this. Redundant, repetitive, mundane data entry.

When I was young and full of terrible anxiety, I used to think data entry would be the perfect job. How simple. Just put info in the right boxes and never have to talk to a living soul. Bliss. Seeing as I want to claw my eyes out, I might have been idealizing that particular occupation just a tad. >_>

Yes, I stopped to bitch! I’m bored, and I hate this, and now that I’m in my 30’s I’m fucking done with homework! XD I want to blast something loud and energizing but the bf is napping right next to me as I work. *grumpy face*

Boooorrrrreeeddd!

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February 21

February 21, 2019

I dreamed of CSS :/

I wish I was joking, but no. I kept waking up, my mind racing, trying to solve whatever pointless echo of a problem it was remembering from the computer stuff. So glad to be done with this. My house is a mess; I honestly can’t say when I last showered or even ate a proper meal. Sleep? Ha.

The next steps should flow faster. Or, at least, be so mundane that it shouldn’t actually engage my creative process enough to require full obsessive attention. Data entry. Blah. My goal is to have it all done by the weekend, then to recover and get back to writing.

I haven’t taken my supplements in a couple days. I’m kinda using the down time as an excuse to test my limits now that my health has returned. It’s been interesting. I have to actively remember I’ve been sick now. Like, I’ve already forgotten because the pain is gone and my clarity is back. It’s really unexpected considering just how long I have unconsciously identified myself as ill. I think I need a new author photo, actually. I don’t need the mask anymore (well, as long as I stay out of that messed up room full of who the hell knows what.) Everything has changed and my consciousness needs to catch up…

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February 19

February 19, 2019

Almost done, for real

As excruciating as updating the website was, there is a silver lining in all this. 1) it looks fucking awesome! Seriously, it’s gorgeous. I feel like it’s my damn birthday or something, I’m just so happy with how it looks and responds. 2) I will never, ever, ever have to take a fucking week to update the website again. No, I spent the entire day today (after finally convincing myself it was worth the effort) to put in the css ID’s for both pattern styles on each and every damn page. Argyle and Skulls each have their own setting. That way, the next time I want to change out the background images, update fonts, etc, I just go into my theme editor, go to the corresponding css sections, and I can change everything in the matter of seconds. No joke. No more going in page to page to adjust little font colors on specific backgrounds on every page; it’s all in the css now. If I decide the skulls are too busy (but they’re so cute! I learned how to make seamless background! <3) I can switch out to a png image and change the font color to contrast in moments. Love it!

It’s such a fucking relief. I’ve been using this cool search/replace plugin that lets me update the database in an instant, but for whatever reason, it wouldn’t update any transparent pngs. The code would change but I was forced to go to every page that png was on, open it up in the editor and save it before it would load the new image. Every fucking time. @_@ Not with the ID tags. Nope, I just update the image there and it loads those pngs like it’s nothing. Thank fuck.

So, yeah, a fuck ton of time spent now, but worth it to avoid all the time I would have spent later. And I would have. I’m fucking neurotic and obsessive and yeah, apparently getting healthy means my brain has more power over my impulses than before. There is no way I can play an RPG again; I would never stop.

A few more things to wrap up from building the new landing pages for the $5 options, and remembering which little option (totally doesn’t do what it says it will do) that keeps making it so my shop is invisible to non members. Fucking obnoxious. And then sending out emails with new passwords, etc. But almost done. I can’t wait to start creating a ton of content to flood this beautiful site with. <3

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February 16

February 16, 2019

Whoa, what?!!!

I think I finally understand CSS! XD

Shit, okay, so to be clear, I started this website when I was super sick and my cognitive function was suffering. Mold, whatever. I didn’t bother learning how to build a website but just learned the little spots here and there that I needed in the moment when shit went bad. Today, while making little div tags, I realized I have been making my life unnecessarily difficult. I don’t need to go page to page to create a layout and copy it over, I can just set a div tag (or whatever you call the damn things) and in the CSS choose things from margins to background images/colors, etc. Every fucking time. I could make a template in the CSS and then hit the right little tag that tells the computer to do everything.

Because this is how themes are made @_@ Shit, I’m slow. I would litterally make something like a header tag, set up the CSS, and then let the damn thing do it’s thing on every page. I can do a search replace right this instant (but later cuz I need to see some daylight before it’s fully gone) and place tags for all my code already made and just let the template do its thing once the template is made. Easy shit with less shortcodes! I can change all the backgrounds just by updating the CSS instead of page to page or through the database replace! Fucking win.

Seriously, how did I not see this before with all these exhausting edits? The shortcut to everything was right in front of me this entire time and I missed it. Dumb. But fuck, what a feeling to figure it out. XD This is how people make their own themes. Duh!

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February 16

February 16, 2019

Website Shit continued…

My fuck, I’m exhausted. I don’t think I’ve gotten a proper night sleep the entire week. There’s something horrendously addictive and damaging to my damn brain every time I go to do any kind of coding. Too much reward for figuring shit out, and too much challenge because I refuse to waste my time actually learning a computer language. So I’m just picking and choosing what works, trial and error.

I’m looking at the new design (the background was so plain before) and I’m just back to my love of anime/videogames every fucking time. It kinda reminds me of Kingdom Hearts, actually… (a game I cannot commit to when their story falls short every damn time. But fuck, it was pretty. <3) Lol, better than the old lady look the website had before, but yeah, I might be devolving now that I’m getting healthy. I like it though. I love bright colors, fun shit–learned how to embed a font and that looks so bitching. So yeah, enjoying the results even as I exhaust myself.

I’m hoping I’ll be done this weekend… err, after the weekend. When the bf is home I can never focus on anything proper and I suppose I should acknowledge the whole V day of doom. But yeah, soon. Hoping. @_@

Hope your week is going better than mine! <3

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?Corporations Shouldn’t Be Our New Morality?

February 9, 2019

Rant time, babes,

Sorry, I heard some news and it just struck a fucking chord.

Hi, btw! XD It’s been a while. I’ve been doing so much website stuff to transfer members over to the new software. I’m literally in the process of rebuilding the damn library because I realized there is no plugin available to do the transfer, so I have to do it all manually. It’s going to take time and I don’t want people in a limbo of not being able to sign in. I’ll be sending out emails with updates to each member once their new account is ready and their new password available, so keep an eye out.

I’ve had a few epiphanies the last month when it comes to being content focused on the website. I’m looking at creating the ability to let new members pay $5 to either read the library of finished books, or $5 to read the new stuff as I write for the month. I want economically friendly choices just in case the $10 for both is just too much for some people. I’ve finally gotten past the emotional obsession I had to ‘fix’ all the old stories. Unless it’s part of a larger series, I’m not touching the old stuff. Letting go and moving forward. It’s also time to stop trying to get things ‘publish ready’ like I’ve been doing with the PATB books. It’s why I’ve spent so much time on those stories and not had time for any other projects. They’re long and I wanted them ready for publishing so I gave them all my focus, and because of it, the website has been suffering with only that content being added.

I’m taking the website back to a focus on taboo stories. You know, the stories that have been ignored while I’ve been writing perfectly awesome PATB books. I miss the dirty sex, and I need to find a damn balance to ensure the hot stuff is being written with the more sweet stuff. There needs to be more dirty books written, no joke. Half because they’re awesomely fun, but also as a fuck you to all this bullshit censorship happening. These books need to multiply instead of disappear.

I have to adapt to a new model of writing where multiple stories/series are updated instead of one again. I’m stretching, relearning, getting this brain to work now that it’s healed. It really is a lot of relearning how to do the same old shit and getting over my neurotic perfectionism. It’s not easy but it’s where I want to be as a person, so it’s well worth the work.

Seriously, you want a medal for basic human decency now?

Okay, so Starbucks finally gets around to giving their workers sick leave. This is a company founded back in 1971, and whose net worth is $30 billion. 5 days a year you’re allowed to be paid when you’re sick to keep you from coming through the door and working, that’s their sick leave. And no, they didn’t do it for some altruistic reason such as, well, giving a fuck about their workers. No, they didn’t want their customers getting sick. That was their mentality for this. Sick customers = bad business. So, Starbucks finally gets around to being somewhat decent on such a base level, and they get mad accolades from the public. A company who cares!

Similarly, the leader of Amazon comes out after being pressured by progressives to say he’s going to be raising all of his workers’ minimum pay to that of what some experts (these numbers are already old) would say is the bare minimum to living. That means ideally for a worker, their bills are paid, their heat is paid, they can pay rent, they can get to work, they can get groceries, and, maybe, if they’re lucky, they can pay their taxes and also have some left over for the kids, right? Here’s hoping health care is included in that, cuz it’s usually not affordable. A living wage is just getting by. There is no profit for the people making it, it’s just not being in poverty. So big cheers for Amazon for setting a standard to pay their workers enough, barely enough, while most other companies don’t even do that.

Nike and Gillette had huge, controversial (dear fuck, why is this shit controversial?) marketing campaigns. Nike for the acknowledgment of protesting as being acceptable in a country that is still battling racial inequality and a prison system built around oppressing black people and the impoverished, and Gillette for acknowledging it’s okay to have a penis and not be a total dickbag in a country that is still battling gender and sexuality inequality. It’s a big fucking deal for these corporation to do the bare minimum of reflecting back the major sentiments already in the country and in most modern societies on the globe. Normalizing equality? Wow, what a freaking shock, right? Accolades, cheers, awesomeness for just being real instead of trying to sell their products. Companies marketing to the future instead of the past. Brilliant.

And, in the midsts of all this supremely basic shit of just being rational in an irrational world, Tumblr bans any adult content to the point of women having hard nipples show through their very modest clothing being removed, Youtube demonetizes anything that uses fair use (aka, LEGAL content,) Facebook blocks anything potentially adult, and Amazon and all major book retailers ban certain subjects pertaining to erotica and romance in fantasy, to the point that sex ED books are placed in erotica or removed completely. Why? Well, we know for a fact with Tumblr it was to sign up Verizon as an advertiser, and Verizon doesn’t want certain sexual content to be associated with them. The whims of a 229.1 billion dollar company has decided the moral/ethical standards for 456.1 million users of Tumblr in the matter of one business deal, just so Verizon can have the ability to market their shit to those users the company wants to change.

Amazon (a 1 trillion dollar company) has decided the moral and ethical standards for the readers who consume the hundreds of millions of ebooks a year on their platform. If Amazon says it’s okay to have books about straight sex, but not gay, they can set a standard for millions of people and then other book platforms as to if gay books are allowed. And if this feels like a stretch, many books being banned are within the MM genre and it started on Amazon before other platforms like Barnes & Noble started following suit. Amazon has been caught shadow-banning erotic books (meaning they can’t be ranked and therefore can’t be seen by customers,) removing erotic titles completely with no explanation, banning authors who are just too good at selling books on their platforms, etc. I wish I were joking, but yeah, that was a huge thing in 2018. Amazon removed accounts of authors who were too good at selling their books. They claimed the authors were making money through illegal means but were unable to show or prove that was the case. Since it’s illegal as an author to have a lawsuit against Amazon, the authors lost their livelihoods without court case or trial or any fucking way to speak up for themselves and their reputations.

What’s my point in all this? EMBRACE DISCOMFORT!

When companies are giants, and they say something is ‘right’ and something is ‘wrong,’ (therefore setting moral and ethical standards,) society starts imitating those beliefs. Not necessarily on purpose but through what is available, what is SEEN. When a playing field is filtered so that no one can see that gay people exist in movies, people who live in bubbles of culture get very uncomfortable to realize gay people exist and it perpetuates the fucked up mentality of trying to make them disappear.

How many men freaked out when Deadpool was pegged by his girlfriend? He’s currently the queerest super hero on the big screen and he doesn’t even screw guys in the movies. We finally had a movie about black people that wasn’t about them just being black and dealing with racism and oppression. You know, they were allowed to just be people. This shit is taking too long! And it’s because the companies who hold the power to make our media aren’t looking to reflect society but to pander to the people who are uncomfortable with diversity.

Where do you think that old line comes from of ‘I don’t care what they do, just don’t let them get married,’ in reference to gay marriage? That comes from the mentality that marriage belongs to only one group of people (usually white and religious and straight) and it can’t belong to anyone else because that group is not exposed to the vast, beautiful wonders of this diverse globe. They think their experience is the only experience, partly because they lack other experience and are uncomfortable in gaining it. The same with when you had the apartheid in South Africa and you couldn’t mix those of different skin colors as a fucking law. When people grow up in a culture devoid of diversity, they normalize it and then push that oppressive belief structure on everyone they meet. Their discomfort sets the norms of society. Gross.

This is ancient era bullshit in a modern world. Segregation is not acceptance and it’s not equality and it sure as fuck isn’t enlightened, modern thinking, but we still can’t get certain races/genders/sexual orientations represented properly in media because some consumers are too fucking uncomfortable. It helps no one. When it becomes normalized, the way billion to trillion dollar companies have the power to make basic decisions and normalize what is on our television sets or computer screens, those wrong, fucked up decisions can start normalizing negative beliefs.

People have to stop running away from discomfort and face the fact that many people are fucked up over sex because of the repressed cultures they’ve grown up in. And how in the world are they going to be able to do that when books about sex disappear one after the other because someone thinks it’s acceptable to discriminate against fiction? How can people be allowed to think for themselves when in this modern world we’re finally breaking free of ancient, oppressive religious systems only to discover corporate policies are trying to be the creators of our morality and ethics by literally removing that which they disagree with?

Either it’s a ‘free’ market, or business owners are just talking out of their asses, being hypocrites while trying to control the market. And just so we’re clear, I will protect a corporate entities right to send a message (even if it’s an old fashioned, fucked up message) because I as an adult am well aware that my behavior and beliefs are still my choice no matter what messages are bombarding me. But I won’t sit here and bullshit that it’s okay for a company to discriminate based on the books people write or read. When Gillette made that ad, were they saying we’re not selling razors to men who believe in ‘boys will be boys?’ No. But Amazon is saying they’ll ban your books and even you as an author if you don’t conform to the moral/ethical standards they refuse to even state about sexual content in fiction. There is a huge difference there.

Think!

Think. That’s all I want for the world. For people to think and to break free of the mental cages they have built around them. There are enough assholes out there with superiority complexes who think they’re the only ones allowed to be free. Sociopaths who think they have a right to tell other people how to think and then profit off of them. Our books are our thoughts. Our writing is our thoughts. Our stories are the lessons we learn, the random thoughts we share and others enjoy. Who the fuck is anyone to take that away and make it disappear? To say which thoughts are right and wrong? Especially companies who don’t even have the decency to pay their employees a living wage while they profit off their labor?

Corporations aren’t some evolved, brilliant form of humanity that are going to save the damn world. They’re comprised of the same fucked up people living in the world today, and that’s it. They make money (some,) they destroy the environment and economy (some,) and it’s not a reason to believe they hold greater value over the individual.

It’s time to end corporate welfare and to stop allowing businesses to decide our ethical standards. Stop cheering for them to do the bare minimum when they have set the standard of people working 3 fucking jobs and not making enough money to live. Corporations suck at giving a fuck. They don’t care about people and their welfare, just how to take money from their pockets. It’s sickening—in a world where many can’t afford health care.

There is something in the human mind that is sourced back to our days of tribes where we feel we need to listen to what we perceive the majority is, be it the loudest voice, the most aggressive, or the most powerful. It allows really fucked up people who hoard wealth to have power over the minds of others. The same way we as a society need to overcome old software like anxiety and PTSD in the modern world, so too do we have to get past this tribalism bullshit.

We are a globe of humanity, and if that’s scary, you gotta face it and get over it already. The world isn’t going anywhere no matter how afraid some people are. Discomfort is not an excuse for oppression and discrimination or the rationalization of irrational, toxic behavior.

Also, seriously, fuck Trump. How disgusting to watch such a transparent manipulation of minds work in his orange crusted hands. That people are more comfortable with a known rapist and xenophobic bigot instead of reality is just a sad, pathetic reflection of the society we’re living in. People have to stop running away from reality and face their shit instead of making it other people’s problems.

*deep breath* Cathartic. Totally.

Back to boring ass website stuff for me. The bulk work is nearly done. Hopefully be back to writing soon. Sorry no freebies this week, just juggling too much. See ya around, babes. <3

~Sins

February 8

February 8, 2019

Website Shit

It looks like I’m going to have to recreate the library if I want to move the memberships in as painless a way as possible. And it’s not painless, it’s a fuck ton of work, but somehow it will be, at the very least, less obnoxious for members even if I’m losing my mind staring at the damn computer for hours on end to get this shit done. Thank fuck I compressed the library last month. It’s actually going to be easier to copy/paste the pages and update links than move each member.

This is for ease of use later. I have to keep reminding myself this. Neurotic, stupid, website shit now so it’s far easier with less problematic subscription issues in the future.

In less eye bleeding news, I updated the Demon Bonded Patreon page, finally, and it’s no longer an ugly ass mess. I’m liking the idea of getting character bios up there for each major series I’m working on. I naturally don’t have the damn time to write up the bios now, but I was able to get Ky and Lovely up there at least. I’d rather be updating the actual story but yeah, I can only do twenty things at a time. @_@

I’m going to bed. I did not beat the sun and it’s too bright outside to pretend to be awake at this point.

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February 7

February 7, 2019

Writer’s Block And Social Impact

Writer’s block is another name for performance anxiety. Heard this little line today and it hit a chord. I think of writer’s block as being sourced in perfectionism, but I didn’t connect perfectionism to performance anxiety. I should have.

I like to tell myself I’m in this unique circumstance, right? Losing brain cells, dopamine receptors, etc, from low dopamine, and then getting the opportunity to grow them back. The giant amounts of inflammation creating pressure on my brain from mold toxicity and allergies suddenly alleviated. It’s a freaking rebirth in a lot of ways. But did I come out of all that struggle better? What about more secure? I mean, I can actually measure my ability as being improved, my understanding, my cognitive function and skills all improved, but am I acting like someone secure in that knowledge? No.

I’m afraid. It’s such a foreign fear compared to the physiological signs of anxiety I lived with for so long. Allergies, inflammation, even the Parkinson’s all gave my these chemical and physical feelings of anxiety. Lol, not to mention the PTSD (apparently even after 30 years of having it, once cured you can forget it even had a damn impact!) What I feel when it comes to perfectionism doesn’t feel like fear, but depression. Like a dark wall that makes me reluctant, that steals my energy and tries to distract me with anything but the truth of what I want to be focused on. My circumstances might be justified as unique–I can rationalize why I’m in this place–but the reality is far more mundane.

I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I don’t know how my writing will reflect on me as a person: if I’m good at it does that give me value? I mean, seriously, it’s like being back in grade school. Earn a gold star and you’ll be worthy of love and praise, right? I don’t know if I’m good enough to convey what I want to convey as a writer. I don’t know if I’m wasting my life. I don’t know if I’m taking the right path. I don’t know–fuck, I don’t know a lot of shit.

Ultimately, none of these questions really matter. It’s just the brain seeking a point of reference and wanting to compare, to judge, to weigh for the sake of doing it. When you realize you’re on a planet in a universe that is likely infinite in scale and therefore you will never have an actual point of reference because there is no static place, you realize this is just something the brain does to help you feel secure. They’re just concepts in my head trying to define the thing I do every single day to be something else, something heavy and weighted with meaning that only exists in my brain. Insecurity defines life with pointless meaning to help us feel secure. It is shit when you’re unaware and that meaning becomes toxic, such as deciding if you don’t write 8,000 words a day, you’re a horrible writer who doesn’t deserve to succeed. This is the dark side of human evolution. What allows us to conceptualize things such as quantum mechanics and have deep psychological thoughts is also what traps us into pointless, neurotic exercises placed on daily activity. It leads to depression and dissatisfaction when surrounded in perfect beauty.

I think I understand why the people who appear to get past this problem are very focused on a social impact to what they do. When I first observed this, I assumed it was marketing, branding, etc, and it turned me off because of it. I saw creators pushing these ideas of social uplift but I didn’t believe it came from a place of genuineness but just a sale’s pitch. Now–at least, with certain individuals–I see how wrong that is. Social value helps to drown out the inner insecurities that can plague a mind.

When I talk about censorship, it’s not from a place of anger because my livelihood is threatened and it feels like the world is unfair (although those feelings are there and very real) but from this place of compassion for the world and people in it. I understand 100% how damaging shame is, how detrimental to emotional and mental well being, and I see how censorship and banning of erotica leads to shame, to self hate, to very normal, healthy individuals left to feel like outsiders and freaks because of something as basic as their fantasies not being accepted in the consumer market on major book platforms. When books are banned, it’s not just the authors of those books, but the readers being told ‘what you like is not acceptable. Go away. You don’t belong here.’

When I focus on the cruelty and pain such a message sends, do you think the petty, pointless insecurities in my head can stand a fucking chance? No. My waffling, gotta be good at what I do or I haven’t earned my gold star doesn’t fucking matter at all. Does it break through my fears that my readers won’t enjoy what I’m writing if I don’t take the most amount of time to make it as perfect as possible? Eh… I wish. I really do. I’m working on it.

It is a place of insecurity I have found myself in as my health returns, and I’m still running down all the damn paths as to why and how to break through. But I have faith I’m going to get there eventually because if there’s one thing I know about myself, I will face the darkest corners of my psyche until I get all the blocks out. I am committed to growth, to joy, to fun, and to creating as much as I can and helping people feel comfortable in their own brains and bodies no matter how fucking wrong, and cruel, and dickish society and the many systems in there can be. No one should want to kill themselves over a sex fantasy. No one should fear losing their jobs, their houses, their families, their lives over the things they fantasize about. No one should be exiled from the world be it the Internet or their personal little bubble over the shit in their heads.

So, yeah, I gotta get the fuck over my own mental stuff so I can help with that, ya know? Plenty of people think this stuff, they know it’s commonsense to not discriminate against sexual fantasies, etc, but few are in a place to make any kind of a difference. Instead we’re seeing people in places of power who are censoring away any mention of sexual fantasies they don’t feel should be allowed to exist. The wrong voices are being heard even if they’re not the most prevalent. I am an anomaly and for whatever reason, here I am at the age of 36 after years of health problems finding myself with a platform, a reader base, a brain that’s actually working properly, and the compassion and fearlessness to take this shit on. So yeah, I have goals. Goals bigger than me even if right now it feels like I’m battling myself more than anything else.

There’s no point wishing for the world to change. If you want a better world, you gotta put the work in and help to recreate it as an accepting, loving, compassionate place. You can’t change society if you’re not being a voice in society. Society is just every single one of us with only a few speaking their truth. And shit, yeah, I guess at this point in my life, this is the way I’m hoping to change the voice of society: with dirty, naughty, rough, dark and taboo sexual fantasies. I know there will be plenty of people who don’t understand it, who will only see what’s on the surface. But I’m here to save the world with sin. Sexy, freeing, SIN.

Rigid rules and shame have no place in the mind and body. Until we can free ourselves from the mental prisons society and we ourselves have put us in, humanity can’t move forward. There are too many giant problems we’re facing on a global scale to allow ourselves to be frozen any longer over such basic, primitive things such as how we perceive our sexual urges in our minds and bodies and if they’re ‘acceptable.’ It’s actually crazy to think we’re still fighting this when we as human beings have had these fantasies since the dawning of our species. What a waste when we could have been enjoying these aspects of our minds from the very beginning. What a waste to have the modern world embrace it only to have a few repressed, frightened, judgemental voices censoring the very Internet to try and ensure people stay broken and ashamed and unaccepting of their very bodies.

Someone has to say enough. Someone has to be willing to be loud and normalize what is already normal in every psyche out there. So, yeah. Goals, babes. Who I’m going to have to be to reach those goals isn’t fully formed yet, but I’m working on it. I’m pretty sure she’ll be kickass and loud once she gets her shit together. XD

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